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Communication for neurodivergent children and young people
- SEND
- Speech, language and communication
- Neurodiversity
Some neurodivergent children and young people may find it harder to communicate or socialise with other people.
It's important to find the strategies that work for your child. There will be strategies that won't work for your child or young person. Different strategies work for different people. There are lots of different strategies that you can try with your child or young person.
Clear communication
You can help your child or young person by making some small changes to the way you talk and communicate with them.
Being face to face. This makes it easier for them to see what you are saying. You can get down to your child or young person's level by lying down or crouching. By getting down to their height, it shows your child or young person you are interested in what they are saying. It can also help them listen to you.
Stop, Look and Listen. Do not rush in and take over when they are speaking or playing. Give your child or young person a chance to communicate first. Even if you know what they want to say, do not rush in. Watch your child or young person. Look for the cues they give you before talking or acting. If you find this hard, try counting to 10 in your head.
Creating a communication friendly space
A communication friendly space is a place where your child or young person feels comfortable to talk. It should be somewhere that communication is easy, enjoyable and effective. The environment should be set up to encourage children and young people to think, read, talk, play or just be themselves. They help remove barriers that can prevent children and young people from communicating.
This can also be known as a communication supportive environment or a language rich environment.
You can make a cozy corner at home for some calm play. You can add objects like cushions, beanbags and blankets to make the space cozier.
Using an indoor tent can be helpful as they can absorb sounds, echos and noises.
It is hard to play in a space where there are lots of distractions. Find a quiet space for your child to play. Avoid spaces with ringing phones, loud noises from TVs and video games.
Try not to overload your child's play space with toys. Put a few toys on a shelf, this can encourage your child to ask for your help. It is often better to have a small amount of toys rather than hundreds that are easily accessible. The amount of choice can be overwhelming.
Let your child or young person make decisions by themselves. Children are more likely to comment on their play when they feel like they're in control of what they're doing.
Please note that too much choice can be overwhelming and distracting. Try to offer smaller choices like giving your child a choice of 2 to 3 different toys rather than a big full box of toys.
Play
Play is an important part of your child's development. It helps them develop skills like:
- understanding and using words
- imagination and problem solving
- shifting their attention between things
- socialising
- exploring and understanding how people and things work
- fine motor functions (hand skills like handwriting and drawing)
Neurodivergent children may not develop their play in the same way as other children their age. They may seem to find it difficult to play. You can help your child by teaching them and encouraging them to play.
Different stages of play
Exploratory play - Exploring toys using their senses such as how it looks, moves, sounds and feels.
Functional play - Playing with toys in their intended way like pushing a train on a train track.
Pretend play with objects - Using real objects for pretend games like feeding a dolly with a spoon.
Pretend play using imaginary objects - Using imaginary objects for pretend games like feeding a dolly with an invisible spoon.
Roleplay - Pretending to be someone else and acting out a story.
Rule based play - Playing games with set rules like board games.
Strategies to help neurodivergent toddlers and pre-schoolers play
Copying is a great way to start a playful interaction with your child. Copying noises or actions can be fun for you and your child.
You can start by copying an action or sound your child has made. You can then make a gesture or sound to see if they copy you. If at first this doesn't work, try again so your child understands that you are copying them.
Take turns copying your child. Once you are going back-and-forth copying your child, you can try adding a new sound or action. Pause to let your child copy you back.
Playing games with other people needs young children to communicate. It's a fun and friendly way to encourage them to communicate. These types of games can also be referred to as people games.
Examples of people games include playing:
- peekaboo
- chase, tag or 'it'
- tickles
- splashing water in the sink
It can be helpful to make sure there are no objects or toys when playing. This helps your child to pay attention to you. They won't feel the pressure or demand to shift their attention between you and the object or toy. Removing toys does not have to be for long, but it can be helpful when you start a play session with your child.
Make sure to pause when playing with your child. Wait for your child to communicate with you by making a sound or action. Once they have communicated with you, continue to play the game. Your child will learn that the sounds or actions will have an impact. This can encourage them to interact more.
Some neurodivergent children can struggle to use their imagination when playing. Try to encourage your child to use their imagination in play.
You do not need specific toys to help your child use their imagination. You can use all sorts of different household objects to play with such as:
- blocks
- bubbles
- cardboard boxes and paper
- feathers
- stickers
- scarves
- wigs
It’s best to play like your child first and then add one simple play action. Remember that toys can be used in a variety of playful ways. For example, if your child likes throwing balls, you could bring a bucket and see if they can throw it in there. If your child starts to line up cars, you can use another car to crash into one of the cars.
Remember to have fun and be playful, this includes using fun words and intonation like Wow! Ooooo! Pop!
Play sessions will vary in length. They can be 5 minutes or an hour. Play should be fun and energetic. If it begins to feel difficult or laboured, stop and try again later.
It is better to have a shorter but more fun play session than a long boring play session. You and your child can maintain your joy and enthusiasm for a short period of time.
Play should be fun for you and your child! It's important that you are both motivated and engaged. If you are tired, stressed or anxious it can be harder to have fun when playing. This can be distracting and make you and your child more grumpy and less interested in play. If you or your child are tired, stressed or anxious, try playing at a time when you feel more focused and positive.
Using rewards is a great way to encourage your child to play. You can reward them during and after a play session. This will encourage them to take part next time. The reward doesn't have to be big. It could be a smile, a cheer or saying "Thank you so much for playing with me. I had so much fun!".
Your child may find playing 1-to-1 easier to start with. You can then involve other family members to play with. This gives your child an opportunity to play with other people.
Joining in with play
Neurodivergent children can play in a way that may seem strange to other people. They may:
- do the same thing over and over when playing
- play with a very small range of toys
- use toys in an unusual ways like spinning the wheels of a car instead of pushing it along
- playing with objects that are not toys like rocks or feathers
You can connect with your child by playing with them the way they like to play. Joining in their play can be a fun experience for both you and your child.
In the beginning, your child may not want to play with you. They may very strongly show that they want to play by themselves. This is okay. Playing with other people can be hard for neurodivergent children. You may need to keep trying lots of times before your child learns that it's fun.
If your child does not want to play with you, you can try playing near them. You can copy how they play to show you are interested in playing with them. Try to experience what they are doing and focus on their chosen activity.
Supporting what you say using visual supports
Visual supports are anything visual that works alongside what you are saying to your child or young person. This can include:
- gestures and signing whilst talking
- showing objects as you talk about them like showing them a plate when dinner is ready
- showing photos or pictures as you talk
- drawing the routine or task
- showing a picture or video of the task or routine on your phone
- using now and next boards
- using visual timelines or timetables
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Last reviewed: 27 November, 2024
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